Why Taking Space Is The Best Thing For Your Relationship (With Yourself) & How To Do It

“I need some space,” is probably at the top of the list for most-dreaded phrases one can hear.

We are nearing the end of the year - the end of the decade! - and I encourage you to take space, to make space, for who you want to be and what you want to call in for the next 365 or 3,650 days.

Let me tell you a story - It was the day after my 26th birthday and my boyfriend of four years (now hubby - hi, Bear!) and I decided to part ways. I temporarily moved out and couch surfed until we figured out what to do with our two-year lease. The timing wasn’t great to say the least. Not to mention, the pain, anxiety, and anguish that comes with decoupling.

I cried for 365 days until we reunited. Literally. Everyday. On the bathtub floor. In the park. Outside churches. In cars. On benches. Under the moon. In private. In public. It didn’t matter - the sudden space that was once filled with my relationship was overwhelming. The unknown of what was in front of me, and if what I left behind was gone forever was a shock to my system.

Yet, that space also provided one of the most freeing, evolutionary times of my life. Taking space - from a person, job, place, behavior, habit - is one of the most spiritual things you can do. It embodies the principles of surrendering, acceptance, and trust in both yourself and the Universe. By stepping away from what is, you are allowing the Universe to provide you with what is meant to be. And, in my experience, what you gain is never like-for-like, but so much better. For example, you’re not really taking space from one partner just to gain another. The space between variable A and variable B provides you with the life lessons, changes in perspective, and blessings that otherwise could never come to fruition.

We must step back to see what truly serves us. We must step away so we can clear out what doesn’t. We must make space to call in, allow, and receive what is meant for our souls to fully bloom.

So before the year comes to a close, I encourage you to de-clutter and make room for what is waiting for you - undoubtedly, something bigger, better, and more magical, than you are imagining.

Here are some of my quick + simple ‘how-to’ tips!

Clean your space: Start small! Clear out your inbox, contacts, Apps. And check in along the way - if something doesn’t feel good - delete it!

Then, start with a drawer, a closet, and room! Some stuff you’ll donate and some you’ll trash - either way, be sure to take a moment to thank it for how it served you and wish it well. Everything at one point, served a purpose. For the stuff that stays, organize it in a way that feels good to you.

I promise you that this is the fastest and most satisfying way to feel instantly lighter!

Journal. On a piece of paper, list out the themes of the past year or decade that you want to release. On a separate piece of paper, write out all of the themes or lessons that you’d like to take with you into the New Year / decade. You might surprise yourself with how much you learned, and all that you gained. Writing your lessons down is a great way to integrate them into the cells of your being!

Get outside. Go for a walk. Sit on a rock. Look at the water. Hug a tree. Smell a pine tree. Gaze at the moon. Nature is the Universe’s medicine.

Breathe. There are two cleansing breaths that I enjoy that you can repeat as many times as necessary.

First, breathe in through the nose, open the mouth, stick your tongue out, and breathe a full breath out the mouth!

Second, breathe in through the nose, slightly open the mouth, and let the breath just fall out the mouth - without force, tension, or manipulation.

Move your body. Dance. Exercise. Jump up and down. Yoga. Shake it out. Whatever movement feels good in your body, do it.

xx,

J.